I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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