Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
