Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize