she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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