Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
