you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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