Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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