I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize