He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
