I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
