I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
