yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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