dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
