so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
