if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
