you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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