dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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