Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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