i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
