Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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