The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
