Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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