Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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