Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
