she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
