I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
