BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
