You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
