Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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