Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
