Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
