His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
