i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Small penises have feelings too.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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