What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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