She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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