Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
