I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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