There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
