oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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