Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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