Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
