We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just fell off a train. Bad.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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