Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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