did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
