What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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