$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
