He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show youâ€
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
