O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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