just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
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