On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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