Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
