Pants 0. Shit 1.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
