At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
