And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
