I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize