I wanna bring you to show and tell
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
