Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
