At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
