And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
