I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
