I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
