I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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