we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
