too bad you live with your parents still
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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