I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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