No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
