my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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