i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
