First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
