What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
