Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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