are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
