He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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