Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
