He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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