My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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